The Third Tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous states that the “only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking”. Let’s take a look at that word desire for a few moments.
It all starts with a desire.
A desire to be different, to be changed, to be someone else.
Desire is an interesting word. It’s a loaded word, right?
If you look up the word “desire” in the dictionary or on Google or somewhere you’ll likely get a whole of bunch of verbs and nouns that mean anything from “I had a desire to eat chocolate” through to “they clung together in fierce, passionate desire”. Interestingly, it never seems to mention the 12-steps.
When I came into 12-step fellowships I didn’t have a desire to stop drinking. I probably didn’t even have a desire to have desire! In the last years of my drinking I was flat out having a desire to stay alive.
So what’s that got to do with my brand of Recovery Coaching?
Good question. I’m glad you asked.
I coach people who all want the same thing: a desire for things to change.
Some people are committed to feeling bad. They don’t know it but it’s there. Crazy I know, but not everyone is committed to feeling fabulous even though we should be.
It’s a part of the landscape of suffering and the shame hangover from a life lived in addiction. You know all that stuff we did in the past? Well, it ain’t going anywhere. It’s part of history.
The 12-Steps are great for clearing up all that old stuff. I can’t recommend them enough. But sometimes we’ve not been thorough enough or we’ve not been clear enough to get past the crap.
If you think there’s something you’d like to change about your present circumstances then I’ve got some questions for you:
- Do you work in a job that sucks?
- Are you in relationships where you don’t feel nourished and honoured?
- Are you bored in your own life?
- Is your Recovery not floatin’ ya boat anymore?
Solution focussed coaching (that’s what I do) is a nifty little tool (not really that little) that taught me how to make better choices in my life and in my recovery. It helped me cut through my own BS and get at the heart of what’s going on so that I could move my life up a level. Now I’m not dissin’ the Steps. They’re amazing and profoundly life altering and empowering. The Steps, along with my sponsor, helped me get honest about a lot of stuff.
Coaching however, took things up several notches. Coaching helped me see some of my character defects that I didn’t even know I had! That’s powerful stuff right there.
Think of a Recovery Coach (that’s me) as a bit like having a GPS for your soul.
Coaching works with you to build a “what the hell am I having / feeling / doing / being?” navigation test for your life. Solution focused coaching delivers solution for you and by you.
I’m pretty sure we’re not all here on this planet to live unfulfilled, soul-sucking lives and just let all that amazing Recovery potential go down the toilet.